with my head in my hands I sit
I don’t know that I have ever had this much on my mind in my life. It feels intensely overwhelming. My best friend is getting married in a few days. I will wear a dress for the occasion. Never mind that this means yet another relationship will go through a deep changing phase and the awareness of my singlehood will grow immensely with his absence. (At least now people will stop asking me why I am not married to him. Again, for the last time: because kissing your brother is uncomfortable.) So much is new lately that I feel like I forget so often what my responsibilities are. I feel ill most days of late and my doctor is currently unavailable. My job is quite stressful right now and the results of several projects feel like they are resting on me. I am not sure how to proceed at some points because I feel like I will only make a mistake. My family and I are not particularly getting along. And I am not that sad about it. I feel like I have no ability to feel what they toss my direction anymore because the relationships are strained to the point where it feels impossible for them to become normal never mind life giving. An old friend shared some horribly tragic news today that makes me feel the world will never, ever be a safe place because we are all greedy horrible shortcut seeking monsters.
Filed under: life overdramatized, what i did last night | 1 Comment
Love the answer as to why your not the one getting married. And know I’m always only a phone call away. Even if it is Thursday night and Grey’s Anatomy is on….I’d always prefer the phone call from you.